Dead End
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara is in a void and is falling fast. She sees Grissom behind a glass and she can't get through. Grissom breaks through. For a short time happiness prevailed. (Warning Character Death: I hate killing off people I love, but I chose to do it this once. If you don't like it then don't read)


Grissom walked along the hallway meeting with various people. I watched this waiting for my turn. He walked again going to his office, but Nick rushed in closing the door. I sighed shrugging walking the other direction.

I saw Greg with his back to the large glass wall working when a large fireball shattered the glass causing me to fly in the air hitting the wall on the other side. I laid on the floor lifting my head seeing a mess of equipment and glass. Greg laid a few feet away on his side obviously unconscious. I laid my head back down hearing the sprinklers come on as the alarm sounded.

Sophia ran through the hallway coughing looking around as people ran past her to the nearest exit. She saw Nick run past as Grissom coughed looking around from his door.

"Grissom." She called, running over "What's going on?"

"An explosion down the hall. Go outside wait for the fire trucks." He said, pushing her away.

"Gil?" She said

"Go!" He said, motioning her to leave. She backed away looking at him before running off. He coughed making his way down the hallway. "Anyone here?"

The room dense with smoke made it hard to see anything. The sprinklers made everything wet including him.

"Anyone there?" He called again

I moved my head hearing someone calling out. I looked around feeling the throbbing in my head. Getting up slowly I heard someone coming stumbling away I found a back exit going out. Grissom walked out watching the paramedic's wheel out Greg into the ambulance. He watched them load him up then looked around at everyone in a daze walking around with bandages on their faces, hands and heads.

Grissom walked over to where Brass stood with all the CSI's on his staff.

"Greg is being sent to the hospital. The explosion happened in his lab. I need everyone on this. Where is Sara?" He asked, looking at them all.

They all looked around not seeing her.

"Has anyone seen her?"

"No." They all said

"All right, stay here I'll find her." Grissom said, walking off.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked Sophia.

"Nothing." She said, walking off annoyed.

Grissom walked all over looking for me. He got his phone dialing my number when he looked over the side of the building seeing me sitting alone by the side door. Putting his phone away he walked over to where I sat. Kneeling down he looked at the cut on my head black with a bruise blood made a trail down my cheek.

"Sara?" He said, gently "Hey."

I blinked looking over at him. He knelt down looking at my eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Honey, your head is bleeding." He said, touching my chin to raise my head.

"It's nothing." I said, looking ahead.

"Sara, you need someone to look at your cut."

"I am not going to the hospital."

"No one said you had to. I just want them to see your head."

"I don't need anything. I just want to sit here."

"Unfortunately that is not an option." He said "Come on."

I felt him take my arms pulling me to stand.

"No, I don't want to go!" I said, shaking my head.

"Sara, stop!" He said, in his Grissom voice "You are going."

"I am fine." I said, struggling out of his grip.

"Sara, you either get checked out now, or I take you to the hospital."

I sat on a gurney as a male paramedic put a bandage on my head. Grissom had disappeared in the crowd no doubt to be with Sophia. Ever since she entered his life they were practically inseparable. He liked her attention and they shared so much in common. She knew that I did not like her.

"Mam, you should come to the hospital." The medic said

"No, I am fine. I will go home and rest." I said, standing.

He gave up knowing it was not going to happen. I walked around looking at people walking about. The building still smoked as firemen went in and out. I walked over watching the action inside the building.

"Did you get checked out?" Grissom asked, coming out of nowhere.

"Yes."

He nodded looking at the square bandage on my head. I avoided his stare as I watched some firemen exit the building.

"Did they ask that you go to the hospital?"

"I said I am fine."

"I think you should go."

"Grissom, leave me alone!" I said, walking away.

He watched me leave not sure where to go. I went home a few minutes after and just collapsed on the bed. I stared at my bedside clock thinking about Grissom and Sophia eating out and then sitting on his couch kissing. Closing my eyes I then thought of the beer I had in my fridge. Getting up I walked to the sitting room entering the kitchen I opened the fridge seeing a six pack of beer waiting for me. Taking one out I heard the someone knock on the door.

Walking over I looked through the key hole seeing Grissom. I froze staying quiet as I waited for him to leave.

"Sara?" He called

I sighed unlocking the door opening it a little to look at him.

"Hey." He said

"Why are you here?"

"I was concerned. May I come in?"

I stared at him a moment then I opened the door more for him to enter. He walked in turning looking at me. I closed the door looking at him noticing his eyes on the beer in my hand.

"Want one?"

"No," He said, his eyes traveling to mine.

I opened the can in my hand drinking some as I walked past him to the couch. He walked over as I sat down taking a seat on the chair next to the couch.

"What can I do for you?" I asked

"Do we need to talk about this again?" He asked, motioning to the beer I held.

"No." I said

"I came to see how you are doing and to say I want you to take some days off."

"Fine." I said, looking at the can I held.

"I mean it, Sara."

"Yeah, I got it Grissom." I said, sighing standing walking over to the fridge opening it to take out the five cans of beer. I set them on the counter drinking the one in my hand.

He got up coming over to me.

"We do need to talk about this again."

"Grissom, this is my house, my life. Why don't you go home and be with Sophia?"

"Sophia?" He asked

"Yes, don't you and she spend a lot of time together? Don't let the door hit you on your way out." I said, grabbing the cans walking to my bedroom closing the door behind me.

I heard the front door close soon after I shut my bedroom door. Crying myself to sleep seemed a regular occurrence now. There were no more visits from Grissom during my mini vacation.

When I came back I walked through the building seeing that the lab was being built back up. I walked into the lounge seeing everyone gathered to get their assignments. Sophia watched Nick and Warrick give me a hug from where she sat on the couch. I looked at her as she looked the other way. Grissom walked in noticing my return.

"Catherine and Nick, dead body found at the Mirage." He said, giving Catherine slip of paper.

"I drive." Nick said, following her.

"Warrick, I have a disturbance at a family home."

"Oh, rich folk." He said, taking the paper walking out.

"What about me?" I asked, walking over to him.

"Your working with us tonight." He said, looking over at Sophia.

I sighed walking past him to go to the locker room. When I came out to the car Sophia had already found a seat beside him in the passenger side. I sat behind them feeling miserable. She made small talk with Grissom as he drove up a hill. I leaned my head against the cool glass. Grissom looked at me from the rear view mirror. We parked outside a house with police cars lights flashing. A crowd of people behind a yellow taped line stood in robes looking at the house. I got out with my case walking to the house with Sophia and Grissom seeing Brass on the porch waiting for us.

"Family dead. Two adult's upstairs and two children upstairs. Shot in the head."

I sighed shaking my head as Grissom and Sophia looked at Brass intently.

"It looks like a hit." He said

"Thanks Jim." Grissom said, going in.

I looked out at the people watching the house. I walked in seeing that Sophia had already started to work on the man and woman by the stairs. Grissom looked at them putting some white gloves on.

"Sara, take the upstairs."

I silently went up flicking on my flash light looking at the stairs.

"Gil, look at this." Sophia said

I swallowed looking at the dark hallway. The first door in the hallway was open. A large unmade bed in the room told me that is the parent's room. I walked slowly down to the two doors that were shut across from each other. I opened the one on the right looking in shining my light in the room seeing a little boy in his bed shot in the head. Blood saturated his pillow as he lay on his stomach sleeping. I took a breath walking in looking around the tidy room. I leaned down over the boy looking at his angelic face.

"I'm sorry." I said, quietly.

Grissom came up walking around looking in the parent's room then he went down to the open doors on either side. Moving out of the way as Doc Robbins came out of the one room with two men carrying out a stretcher with a black body bag.

"I'll let you know." Robbins said, as he passed.

Grissom nodded watching them take him away. He walked over seeing me lying half under the bed with my legs sticking out.

"Sara?" He called.

"What?" I said, under the bed.

"What do you got?"

"I didn't see any scratches or finger prints on the window. Brass is right, this is a hit."

"What are you doing under there?" He asked, leaning down to shine his light under the bed.

"I found a message under the bed and I am trying to cut it so I can take it as evidence." I said, gasping as I tugged.

"What sort of message?"

"I don't know yet." I said, tugging till something snapped. I slid back pulling the piece out looking at it. He walked over shining his light to read it.

"Daddy vs. mommy." He said

"These lines must mean the number of the fights." I said, pointing to the lines in a row.

"Yeah." He said

Sophia knocked on the door making us look over at her.

"I'm going to go over the parent's room."

"Okay." He said

She smiled walking away. I didn't miss that look she gave him. I put down the board standing. Grissom turned looking at me.

"I'll go do the other kid's room."

"Right." I said, calmly.

He turned leaving. We finished processing then started the long way back to the lab. I sat in the back looking out at the starry sky.

"Maybe we could stop at the diner after work?" Sophia asked

"I don't know." He said

"It's not good to sleep without a full stomach."

"Is that a scientific theory?" He asked, looking over at her.

"No, just motherly advice. Besides I would love to sleep in without you waking me up with your growling stomach."

I looked over at them thinking I imagined what she had just said. He coughed saying nothing. We arrived and I quickly took my evidence going into the building before they got out.

The next shift Warrick and Catherine came into the lounge to get some coffee. They chatted about going out to breakfast after shift when Warrick looked over seeing me on the couch with my back to them sleeping.

"Wow, didn't think she ever slept." He said

"Grissom is going to yell. Speaking of which." She said, motioning behind them at Grissom coming in for coffee. He looked over at them then at me.

"Did she stay here all night?" He asked

"It appears so." Warrick said, as he leaned against the counter next to Catherine.

Grissom sighed walking over looking at me.

"Go easy on her, Gil." Catherine said, as she walked past him to the door. Warrick followed silently wanting to get out of the way. Grissom watched me move to lie on my back then still. I moved my head opening my eyes seeing him.

"Sara, did you sleep here all night?"

I sat up touching my hair nodding.

"You are not to sleep here. I told you that." He said, as he scolded me.

"I was working on the case." I said

"The same case that Sophia and I are on?"

"Yes."

He sighed looking down at me.

"I want to see you in my office now."

I slowly stood walking past him to the hallway as he followed. He shut his door then faced me.

"Sara, I don't understand. First you start drinking…."

"I am not drinking!"

"Second I find you sleeping in the lounge after I told you not to and then you pull a double working the case that Sophia and I are working with you."

I looked down as he waited staring me down.

"Look at me." He ordered. I looked at him watching him step closer. "If I see you sleeping or working over on this case alone I will suspend you."

"Can I go?"

"No, I want to know you heard me."

"I heard you."

"Good, you can go."

I rushed out leaving him to be concerned. I drank my fifth beer at home while watching a movie after work. I dropped the can on the floor trying to get up for another. As I stood I fell hitting my head against the coffee table.

"Owe!" I cried, as I felt the spot I hit. The pain diminished as I stood up grabbing the furniture going to the kitchen. A knocking at the door distracted me from getting another beer from the fridge. I walked unsteadily over to the door pulling it open I blinked seeing Grissom in his work clothes.

"Yes?" I asked, holding onto the door.

He looked at me up and down stopping at my head.

"What did you do?" He asked, motioning to my head.

I reached up touching it, but as I did my balance faltered and I started to fall. Grissom quickly moved catching me. He stood me up moving us inside as he swung the door closed with his foot.

"Sara." He said, as I stumbled.

"Grissom?" I asked

"Sit down." He said, leading me to the arm chair in the living room. He sighed kneeling down touching my head where a cut had formed with a bruise. He stood up looking at the beer cans around the floor then he walked to the bedroom coming out with a small first aid kit. He knelt down again opening it to get some bandages and ointment.

"Why are you here?" I asked

"I came to talk to you about your behavior."

"Behavior?" I asked, looking at him dazed.

"Yes, you seem to be going out of control and I wanted to know why." He said, dabbing my cut.

"I don't know what your talking about."

He concentrated on what he was doing. I sat back closing my eyes waiting for him to stop. He closed the kit then he stood leaning over me touching my arm. I opened my eyes looking up at him.

"Sara, this is getting worse. You are going to burn out and then what?"

"I am not burning out."

"What do you call what your doing?"

"I can handle it." I said, looking up at him.

"Sara."

I waved him away as I stood up wavering. He stood looking at me I walked past him, but he grabbed me pulling me back. I watched him as his hand came to my cheek smoothing it against his fingers. He leaned forward slowly looking into my eyes until the last possible moment until our lips touched. He let his hand go to my neck as he held me steady. He deeply kissed me moving his lips against mine.

He slowly moved back opening his eyes looking at me. I looked at him in a drunken shock. He seemed to be waiting for some reaction. I looked at his lips then at him. I moved closer as he tilted his head kissing me putting his arms around me pulling me closer.

He moved back watching me as I turned green. I put my hand to my mouth stumbling to the bathroom. He walked over to the bathroom door hearing me throwing up. I gasped holding onto the toilet.

"Sara?" He called, knocking.

I gasped sitting back closing my eyes. He tried the door again hearing me open the door. He watched me wipe my mouth with my hand looking at him pale.

"Are you all right?"

I nodded looking past him at the bed. I walked over getting in bed wincing as my stomach hurt. Grissom walked over looking down at me. He walked into the bathroom. I could hear the sink running then he came out sitting on the bed dabbing my glistening head. I looked at him as I lay on my back.

He said nothing as he continued. I reached over touching his hand lying on his lap. He looked at me then down at our hands. I closed my eyes sensing him still sitting down touching my hand as he started wiping my face. I rolled over in bed later breathing in smelling coffee. Opening my eyes I saw it was daylight. I got up going out into the living room seeing Grissom on the couch reading as he sipped coffee. He looked at me as I put a hand through my messy hair.

"I made coffee." He said

"Why are you here?"

"I thought I better stay since you were sick."

I looked around seeing he had cleaned the place. He stood walking past me to the kitchen where he put his cup on the counter and bent over to open the oven door pulling out a plate of eggs and toast. I watched him put the plate on the counter looking at me.

"You made something to eat?" I asked

"This is all you had. I was going to go to the store, but I didn't want to leave you. Come and sit down."

I slowly walked over sitting on a stool. He put a napkin and fork next to the plate then he poured some coffee for me. I looked at him as I lifted the fork.

"Eat." He said

Swallowing I picked at the eggs putting them into my mouth chewing.

"Good?"

I nodded feeling a lump in my throat. Dropping the fork I put my hand to my head crying. He walked over pulling me to him.

"It's all right."

"No…no it's not. Look at me!"

"Sara, I am looking." He said, moving away from me "I see someone who needs help."

"I have been struggling with a lot. I am losing everything I thought I could depend on, even myself."

"Don't say that, Sara. You can depend on me. I won't let you down."

I put my head back on his chest sniffing. His cell phone rang and he picked it up.

"Grissom."

I wiped my eyes with the napkin as he moved away rubbing my shoulder as he listened to the caller. I felt his hand stop its rubbing as he went tense.

"Okay, I'll be right there." He said, hanging up sighing.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go over to Sophia's. Someone broke into her house. She was hurt. I will see you later at work." He said, leaning over kissing my head.

I watched him go quickly then I looked around alone again.

Grissom walked over to where Sophia sat on a stretcher outside in the parking lot of her place. People crowded each other behind some yellow tape as police walked in and out of her place. She looked over seeing him getting up she hugged him.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Yes." She said, but her shaking convinced him that she was lying. He looked around seeing Brass walking over to them.

"Gil, it looks like a random break in. He was in there when Sophia got home. Got in through a window."

Grissom backed up touching her face.

"Tell us what happened."

"I came in to the apartment going to the kitchen to eat something and I heard a noise in the bedroom. I went in and someone hit me from behind. I woke up and called the police."

"We'll need you to come to the station." Brass said

"I know the drill." She said

"Are you sure your all right?" Grissom asked

"Yeah." She said, giving him a small smile.

He nodded watching her walk past to go with Brass. He looked up at the complex then walked away. I came to work hearing the whole story of how Sophia was attacked. Grissom was out much of the shift coming back as I was leaving. He stood in front of his desk while Sophia sat in a chair facing him. They talked and I could see the visible bandage on her head. Grissom looked over seeing me standing in the hallway. He said something to Sophia then walked out to see me.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah, how is she?" I asked, looking in at Sophia looking down at her hands in her lap.

"She's fine. We were just discussing the case. Did you get anything done?"

"Yeah, I got a fingerprint that was a dead end."

"Keep trying. Are you headed home?"

"Yeah."

"I am going to have Sophia stay at my place just for today so I will see you next shift."

"Sophia is going to stay with you?"

"Yes." He said, studying my face. I looked down then at him.

"I better go." I said, walking past him. He looked at me then back at Sophia. I made my way outside when I turned seeing him running out to meet me.

"Sara, do you want to have dinner with us?"

"No, three is never a good number." I said

"Wait." He said, grabbing my hand. I moved back to face him "We need to talk."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"I think there is."

"Grissom, I am fine. We both have different lives. It took me sometime to realize that, but it is true. I am okay now."

He watched me put on an act. I looked at him watching for any sign that he was not buying it. Instead he pulled me to him hugging me.

"You can stop trying to convince me that you are all right. I know otherwise." He said, softly in my ear.

I shuddered feeling my body tremble as his warm breath hit my neck. His hand smoothed my hair as we stood still.

"Why can't you let it go this time?" I asked, against his shoulder.

"Because I care for my team."

I lifted my head looking at him. He searched my eyes.

"Is that what I am? Just part of the team?"

"You are more than that, Sara. I need you."

I moved towards him looking at his lips as he stayed still watching me come closer. My lips touched his gently then I moved away.

"You have me Grissom. For now." I said, moving away to go to my car. He watched me pull out leaving.

A week later I walked back to Grissom's Tahoe putting evidence in the back. We were in the middle of nowhere in the desert finishing the crime scene where remains were found by a guy and a girl. As I put my bags in the trunk area Grissom walked over putting his case in beside my bags.

I felt another giggle rise out of me as he sighed facing me.

"Are you ever going to stop laughing?"

"I'm sorry, but seeing you trip and fall into a sand pit screaming like a girl was just hilarious."

"I did not scream like a girl."

"You are always so careful." I said, laughing again as I closed the trunk. He just stared at me as I faced him smiling. "I'm sorry."

He pulled me over kissing me. I put my arms around him. He tilted his head pushing me back against the trunk. I moved back, but he caught my lips again this time it was forceful. I moaned causing him to move back looking at me putting his hand on my cheek.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I am just not used to be kissed like that."

"Sorry."

"No, I liked it."

He nodded looking at my lips again.

"I guess you decided what your going to do about this."

He kissed me again not answering. On the way back I felt him take my hand as I slept with my head against the window. I didn't usually drop off, but the ride back had affected me like a sedative. Grissom looked over at me then drove on.

My door came open making me jump. I saw we were back at the lab and he was standing looking at me. He helped me out then we walked to the trunk to get the evidence. I reached for a bag and he purposely reached for it to touching my hand looking at me.

I smiled at him grabbing the bag leaving him to go inside. After shift I went home sleeping on the couch. A knock at the door woke me. I walked over opening it seeing Grissom still in his work clothes.

"Hey." I said, rubbing my face "What's up."

He walked past me as I closed the door. He paced the floor stopping as he watched me walk over.

"Something wrong?"

"Yes, I can't pretend that something is happening. Sara, I want whatever this is to work."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, what do you think?"

"You're with Sophia."

"No, not now." He said, touching my arm "I want to…..I need to have a relationship with you."

I stared at him taken back by his persistent words. He moved to kiss me. I closed my eyes putting my arms around him as he did the same. It was gently at first then it became passionate and hurried. He broke the kiss looking around then picking me up he walked to the door that led to my bedroom.

Later I laid my head against his bare smooth chest. He slept relaxed on his back as I lay awake. Moving my head I looked at him in the light of day. He seemed oblivious to me watching him. The troubles melted away making him look younger. His head moved as he sighed sleeping again. I kissed his chest looking up at him. He moved his head opening his eyes blinking the sleep away. I continued traveling up finding his lips.

"Hello." I said

"Hello." He said

"I never expected to be in bed with you." I said, leaning my head onto my arm that laid on his chest.

"Is it a good surprise?" He asked, as he touched my hair.

"Always. The first time we almost went to bed was when we first met." I said, moving my arm to kiss his chest again.

"The seminar. I remember you cut line ahead of ten people to shake my hand." He said, looking at the ceiling. "I saw you and I just….felt that instant attraction."

"I made the first move." I said

"No, I did. You were having a drink at the hotel bar and I walked over and asked you to have dinner with me."

"We had dinner then I said why don't we have a nightcap up in my room." I said

"I knew what you meant."

"You did not! I put the moves on you as you entered the room."

"We broke a chair." He said, rubbing his head.

"Such a long time ago."

He moved so he was above me and I was lying back on the bed.

"This time we won't wait years. I am not letting you go."

I reached up pulling him down onto me closing my eyes as he kissed my neck.

Our secret love affair continued for a month and in that time I think Grissom grew more confident in his love for me. There was not a time when he didn't leave my side after shift. We spent some nights on the couch watching whatever was on TV. Others were spent in bed enjoying each other.

Grissom sat on the bed tickling my cheek making me move swatting him.

"Owe!" He cried out

I smiled opening my eyes watching him rub his arm.

"You deserve it." I said

"I am going in early. I have meetings."

"Okay."

"Want to have dinner out later?"

"Maybe."

He leaned over kissing me then got up to go. I got up and dressed going to work. It was supposed to be an ordinary day, but as time went on it was anything but.

Hours later I lay on the ground outside a house bleeding from a gunshot wound in my stomach. Brass leaned over me saying something that I could not hear.

"Sara, stay awake." He said

I gasped breathing in and out fast.

I came to work that day feeling rested. Grissom had meetings as I worked alone on a case. I found a possible suspect from a print. I got Brass and a few officers to come with me. We arrived at the house and walked towards it. Suddenly shots rang out. Brass shouted as he got his gun out grabbing me pulling me down behind a car in the driveway. I felt pain looking down lifting my hand seeing blood.

"Jim!" I yelled

He looked over seeing my hand looking at my scared face. I slid down to the ground gasping. Brass got on his phone calling for help as he leaned over me putting his hand to my wound.

"Grissom." I said, gently.

I closed my eyes as Brass talked to me.

Grissom sat in the waiting room looking down as Catherine and the others came in.

"Is she all right?" She asked

"I don't know." Grissom said "Brass said she looked bad."

The other's looked scared as they gathered around Grissom. He looked down at his hands. The doctor came out walking over to them.

"Mr. Grissom."

Grissom stood looking at the doctor.

"How is she?"

The doctor sighed looking at him.

"I am afraid she didn't make it."

Grissom stared at him still as if a statue. The doctor looked past Grissom at Catherine coming over looking at them.

"What do you mean?" Grissom asked

"What is happening?" She asked

"Miss. Sidle died a few minutes ago."

Catherine put her hand to her mouth gasping. She looked at Grissom as he stared at the doctor then turned to her.

"I am very sorry." The doctor said, before walking away.

Catherine hugged Grissom already crying. The others stood knowing already what was happening. They all watched in stunned silence as Grissom and Catherine hugged.

Grissom stood by himself at the grave after the funeral. He looked at the casket sadly looking at the flowers on top of it. Brass watched him from his car down the gravel road. He walked over joining him as they both looked at my black casket.

"It's to quiet." Grissom said "One thing Sara hated was the silence."

"Yeah."

"I keep thinking about all the time I wasted."

"We all have regrets where Sara is concerned." Brass said "I regret not being there when she started drinking."

"Me to."

"I loved her, Jim."

Brass put his arm on the man's shoulder.

"Come on. I'll buy us a drink."

Grissom sighed looking at Brass then slowly walking with him to the car. Grissom stopped midway looking back. He saw me standing by my grave looking at it in my work clothes from that day.

"I'll meet you there." Grissom said, watching Brass nod getting in his car. Grissom watched him drive off then he walked over to where he was before. I looked over at him.

"It's over, isn't it?" I asked, watching him nod. "I knew this might happen one day, but not this soon."

"I was scared it would." He said

"Why did you bury me here?" I asked

"It's close to my place."

"So this is how it ends?" I said "I didn't even say goodbye."

"I should have been there. I am sorry."

"You're here now. That's what counts." I said, walking over to him.

He touched my face as I smiled faintly.

"Sara, I love you."

"I know. I love you. Does this bring you closure?"

"No, not really, here I am talking to thin air."

"Do I feel like thin air?" I asked, touching his hand with mine.

"You are not here." He said

He blinked looking around as if from a trance. Walking over to my casket he leaned down kissing it.

"I'll come back soon." He said, before walking away.


End file.
